As I spoke in http://learningasanart.blogspot.com/2012/04/how-many-thoughts-are-you-made-up-of.html
I believe that the mind is made up of thought trees. I brought this up in a post at HighExistence and many responded, a few replied with what they thought was more appropriate: A thought "web" where thoughts are more connected to everything, rather than in chain. I do believe this to be true, but let me explain what a possible structural representation may be like.
We have very strong, deep, "Root" or "Trunk" thoughts - those which everything else stem from, one of which I am sure is "Who am I?" (for most people). This thought branches out to "What do my parents want?" "What do I love", "What am I capable of (Am I smart? Am I strong?)" etc...
But contrary to what would appear to be the case, thoughts arise from events in our daily lives, and get transferred to the very outer branches. These outer branches are much more specific like "Should I buy this for $5?" This branch thought is webbed to many thoughts, like "My friend just bought one" or "I could really use one" - these pseudological calculations are webbed to our event-induced thoughts. They are usually not important thoughts, and in eastern cultures such as buddhism, these "web" thoughts are the monkey brain - usually very little is accomplished with these thoughts, unless we can find solid proof of a logical need like "Oh its actually Tuesday and this item is free on Tuesdays".
But where does the tree structure come in?
The tree structure would come in on how you perceive the 5 dollars and the item of interest. If you believe 5 dollars is something to be considered, then this is going down towards the base of the trunk, here you believe that spending 5 dollars isn't important. Going further down the trunk you may think of how big your paycheck is, and what possibilities that gives you. Further down you may think of how your job presents yourself - (is it an elite class job? 5$ shouldn't be anything!). Even further down you may think that you believe that you should be able to take whatever you want.
So, you see, the branches on which events "land" (per-se) are governed by your tree structure.
Had you, for instance, grown a tree with branches that ask questions like "Is this 5 dollars spent going to really make me happier?" or "Is this item of quality?" your trunk may be "What really makes me happy?" "How can I get the most out of life?"
So you see, the trees you plant are incredibly important to who you are (well - they are who you appear to be!).
The next blog will need some considerable thought. I will be contemplating how to cut and grow trees, and how difficult it truly is.
Showing posts with label self. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self. Show all posts
Friday, April 13, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Extreme emotions
Have you ever felt connected to everything?
Have you ever felt that your life was small, tiny, a fragment of everything's existence?
Have you ever seen your life from a bird's eye view?
I'm guessing most people have. We always see something extremely emotional - whether it be how beautiful our life is, or how terrible. But these emotions are short lived, usually no more than an hour (if soberly-derived...). Yet, most of us don't change after these, most of us act as if "wow that was crazy..." (back to work!).
Why?
Don't you ever see those movies where the person drops everything their doing, quits their job, sells their house, does exactly what they would like to? We grab that feeling (the empathy within us [See my post " A day in the life"]) for a short bit, we leave the movie theater feeling hopeful for our lives or questioning whether we're on the right path. These extreme emotions could launch us into the ideal life. It could launch us into extreme, beneficial change, improvement, evolution.
But it dissipates. Why? Why do we regress? Why do we give into societys' norms, crumbling back into the cubicle, the manual labor, we don't sell the house, we don't travel, we don't explore the world.
As I write this the feeling rises like the tide in my gut. Slowly I, too, realize I am not at my full potential. I have a future, I have plans, goals, but they aren't what I wanted when I was 5 (a pure, although immature, perspective on life). I want to build a greenhouse. I'd like to travel the world. I'd like to live for a few months in the Yukon, the Amazon. I'd like to sky dive. I'd like to write my names on the walls of all the great cities. I'd like to invent. I'd like to solve, to create. I'd like to help.
Why do we 'settle' with our lives.
If you read this, I beg you. Do exactly what you want. Feed these emotions. Strive, build, think, learn.
Be who you are.
Have you ever felt that your life was small, tiny, a fragment of everything's existence?
Have you ever seen your life from a bird's eye view?
I'm guessing most people have. We always see something extremely emotional - whether it be how beautiful our life is, or how terrible. But these emotions are short lived, usually no more than an hour (if soberly-derived...). Yet, most of us don't change after these, most of us act as if "wow that was crazy..." (back to work!).
Why?
Don't you ever see those movies where the person drops everything their doing, quits their job, sells their house, does exactly what they would like to? We grab that feeling (the empathy within us [See my post " A day in the life"]) for a short bit, we leave the movie theater feeling hopeful for our lives or questioning whether we're on the right path. These extreme emotions could launch us into the ideal life. It could launch us into extreme, beneficial change, improvement, evolution.
But it dissipates. Why? Why do we regress? Why do we give into societys' norms, crumbling back into the cubicle, the manual labor, we don't sell the house, we don't travel, we don't explore the world.
As I write this the feeling rises like the tide in my gut. Slowly I, too, realize I am not at my full potential. I have a future, I have plans, goals, but they aren't what I wanted when I was 5 (a pure, although immature, perspective on life). I want to build a greenhouse. I'd like to travel the world. I'd like to live for a few months in the Yukon, the Amazon. I'd like to sky dive. I'd like to write my names on the walls of all the great cities. I'd like to invent. I'd like to solve, to create. I'd like to help.
Why do we 'settle' with our lives.
If you read this, I beg you. Do exactly what you want. Feed these emotions. Strive, build, think, learn.
Be who you are.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
The Urban Shaman
I'm a shaman. I'm not afraid to say that, for any of the various reasons one could be.
I've tripped only a handful of times and have really learned little after my first experience, but I have learned. The first experience was as much of a opening of new doors as would be getting sucked through a high pressure hole inside out. It was not comforting :).
But what I have learned was incredibly valuable. On my way down to the darkest abyss one can experience, I climbed my way to the top again. Remembering every foot hold and pathway I took. I've been able to go back and forth from complete desolation of the soul and mind, to euphoria, and with such an ability have used to to "save" some people. I've had a handful of people email me, responding to various messages, about the words I've put out, that "saved their life".
Due to the fact that this happens, and probably will continue to happen, I never outright condone the use of psychedelics. I know their intensity, and I know the fragility of some perspectives of reality, and mixing the two can have catastrophic effects. People must show a great deal of understanding, education, and self-improvement, which is incredibly important when dealing with these substances - with an intent of spirituality, or at least something beyond "Getting high" and laughing at colors.
I've been able to help only because I have been there. I know the steps one needs to take, rather than the leaps that one wants to take (or others impose). The road from an intense, bad trip, can be a terrifying experience, with a rewarding ending.
Beyond that, however, I have realized a special ability that comes and goes - the ability to see sickness. While I was on a very low dose of ayahuasca I was able to see what was ailing people. For weeks after wards my ability to give back massages was incredibly rewarding, and actually very psychologically stimulating (as I could literally "See" the pain).
This ability to see sickness, is what I believe a true shaman holds. It is a learned trait, not something born into. It is not genetic (I don't think), so I'd hope others may be able to gain this as well.
Shamans of the brazilian rainforest are known for their ability to "see" parasites and sickness long before the conscious mind sees symptoms. Often times, weeks before one would normally go into the hospital. This is not some magical trait, or some divine information - this is simply an extremely acute sense of non-verbal communication. Our brains are extremely similar across the globe, the make up, the neurology, even the psychology - we all have very relate able (conserved) portions of the brain. A shaman knows these like the back of his or her hand, and can see when these portions are acting odd.
The stomach may seem loose, the eyes may be slightly drooped. The shoulders sunken, and heavy. The steps may be rigid, or unbalanced. Our minds adapt quickly to pain & suffering, so many times we may not even know we are in pain at all! Yet to the trained eye, all ailments become highlighted like neon-signs. Curing, is something I do not understand, and have much to learn about. Much has to do with placebo (sorry, I'd like another word) and much has to do with things beyond my understanding. Often the shaman will go into the forest, and plants will "speak" to him or her, presenting themselves for the healing process. Here the shaman takes plants which he knows to be familiar, but really has no understanding of medicinal action, and cures.
I hope to one day obtain this kind of hospitality, this ability to heal, cure, and help beyond some internet-arm-chair-psychology.
I've tripped only a handful of times and have really learned little after my first experience, but I have learned. The first experience was as much of a opening of new doors as would be getting sucked through a high pressure hole inside out. It was not comforting :).
But what I have learned was incredibly valuable. On my way down to the darkest abyss one can experience, I climbed my way to the top again. Remembering every foot hold and pathway I took. I've been able to go back and forth from complete desolation of the soul and mind, to euphoria, and with such an ability have used to to "save" some people. I've had a handful of people email me, responding to various messages, about the words I've put out, that "saved their life".
Due to the fact that this happens, and probably will continue to happen, I never outright condone the use of psychedelics. I know their intensity, and I know the fragility of some perspectives of reality, and mixing the two can have catastrophic effects. People must show a great deal of understanding, education, and self-improvement, which is incredibly important when dealing with these substances - with an intent of spirituality, or at least something beyond "Getting high" and laughing at colors.
I've been able to help only because I have been there. I know the steps one needs to take, rather than the leaps that one wants to take (or others impose). The road from an intense, bad trip, can be a terrifying experience, with a rewarding ending.
Beyond that, however, I have realized a special ability that comes and goes - the ability to see sickness. While I was on a very low dose of ayahuasca I was able to see what was ailing people. For weeks after wards my ability to give back massages was incredibly rewarding, and actually very psychologically stimulating (as I could literally "See" the pain).
This ability to see sickness, is what I believe a true shaman holds. It is a learned trait, not something born into. It is not genetic (I don't think), so I'd hope others may be able to gain this as well.
Shamans of the brazilian rainforest are known for their ability to "see" parasites and sickness long before the conscious mind sees symptoms. Often times, weeks before one would normally go into the hospital. This is not some magical trait, or some divine information - this is simply an extremely acute sense of non-verbal communication. Our brains are extremely similar across the globe, the make up, the neurology, even the psychology - we all have very relate able (conserved) portions of the brain. A shaman knows these like the back of his or her hand, and can see when these portions are acting odd.
The stomach may seem loose, the eyes may be slightly drooped. The shoulders sunken, and heavy. The steps may be rigid, or unbalanced. Our minds adapt quickly to pain & suffering, so many times we may not even know we are in pain at all! Yet to the trained eye, all ailments become highlighted like neon-signs. Curing, is something I do not understand, and have much to learn about. Much has to do with placebo (sorry, I'd like another word) and much has to do with things beyond my understanding. Often the shaman will go into the forest, and plants will "speak" to him or her, presenting themselves for the healing process. Here the shaman takes plants which he knows to be familiar, but really has no understanding of medicinal action, and cures.
I hope to one day obtain this kind of hospitality, this ability to heal, cure, and help beyond some internet-arm-chair-psychology.
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